Mentor stories - Nicky Neef

The first meeting can be daunting, being back in the school environment was strange. But I've been through lots of nerve-wracking scenarios, and I knew the young person would need reassurance more than I did. It was about putting them at ease. I was nervous, but I overcame my fears very quickly. The more you get to know them the easier it is. Although, easier does not mean easy.

I've mentored a few young people at this point, and I recognise that some things you can help with, and some things you can't. If they have poor attendance then I can help them set incremental goals, if they aren't sure what path to take to get to their chosen career, I can look at the options with them. Mentoring isn't just about academics, it's about being there when you can and how you can. Everyone has different problems, and it isn't your job to cure them, but to just be there for them. There isn't always a satisfying resolution but those small victories lead to bigger ones, and it can be a challenge to stay on that path.

Mentoring is really worthwhile, it does help, and it doesn't take up much time. A little input can dramatically change a young person's perspective, it just takes a little time. Until then you just need to listen.

Another of the young people I mentored was always going to do fine academically, but the issues came from a lack of socialising. Her parents were very demanding in terms of school performance and wouldn't let her meet with anyone outside of school. The only workaround was if she would meet them in the library to study. It was quite challenging, because there was no real solution that was in my power to give her. I had to just make sure that she got some pressure-free time when I was with her. Mentoring's not always easy. You can't force change, but you can try and give them a bit of a breathing space away from their problems and let them spend the hour how they want to.

I just made sure that in the hour a week I got to see her, I let her relax and get that social boost she needed then. I think it really helped, but I couldn't do anything more.

And sometimes it's a challenge to find out what they need from you. I've mentored 5 times and they've all been different. Sometimes they need help figuring out what path to take from school, some you just need to make sure are eating. Others are doing well academically but it doesn't mean they aren't struggling. Sometimes it's about social and relaxation aspects.

When I was growing up, it was a difficult time. I was a troubled teen, and if I had someone willing to listen it would have been different. There wasn't much career guidance, and so I didn't have a clue what I was going to do. If someone had asked me something as simple as: 'What do you want to do?' and given me options how I might achieve this, it would have made my life much easier. There are so many different routes to where young people want to be. You don't necessarily need 5 A's, there are so many other things to do and pathways to follow. If someone had guided me to where I wanted to get to, it would have been helpful. And now I get to do that for someone else.

The young people I was mentoring would sometimes ask: 'Who else are you seeing today?' and I got to tell them I'm here for you, only you. When they find that out, they're chuffed - they're happy that someone is taking an hour to invest in them. Being there just for them.

Just sign up. It's so satisfying and worthwhile. I can't say it's easy, but it works, and makes a huge difference. You don't have to do anything spectacular. Some of them have no stability and need a constant presence to be there for them, and advocate for them. You should just try it. You've got so little to lose and they've got so much more to gain.